.You make the GENESIS out of Me.

God let the 20 people in OCCIDENTAL all turn up for EVORETREAT!

I DEMAND!
I INSIST!
I WON'T LET YOU GO UNTIL YOU BLESS ME!

Prayed in Jacob's persistence,
GenesisJo.

Genesis Jorris 1:26:00 AM

A Letter to God.

Dear God,
thank you for making me the kind of person I am today and thank you for the kind of person I will become in the future when I continue to walk in your ways and follow your word. Though I cannot say that I am perfect and well and good, but I still thank God for all the blessings and mouldings that you have pour abundantly in my life to make me who I am today. In the past, pride and ego always overwhelm me, and I often enjoy myself in my achievements and glory. But today, I learnt that the greatest joy does not lies in the things I do, but in who I became because of you, because you send your son to die for me and crucify my sins on the cross so may I have the privilege and freedom to come freely to you in repentance.

Lord I want to confess all my sins that I have done in the past once again, the sins that I commit each day in my heart and what I've done, the sins that I may commit in the near and coming future. I thank Jesus for dying on the cross for me, so as to cleanse me away from this sin which seperates me and us from the love of God. How do I deserve your love and your son to die for me? Despite Im a sinner and sin against you, you still love me for being me, including my flaws and weaknesses. Thank you God for loving me. Thank you for creating me to love me, and Lord in return though I believe you love me not for the returns, I want to know you better and love you more. I just want to constantly humble myself in your word and your ways, not to Lord over my own life, but to offer them fully for the work of your ministry. Jesus, I give myself to you, and I awaits for your plans to be make aware to me.

I am a person that can be pretty impatient, and my persistence in leading a christ-like life is very low. Heavenly Father, I just pray that you will allow the holy spirit to always remind me about my impatience, and help me to be patient to wait for your plans for me to be reveal to me. I tend to worry, and wonder about where am I going, but this is not right.. Why do I doubt the plans? Why do I keep wanting to know it in the first place since I know that knowing it myself won't change the fact that God's plan is the best and will always work? The fact is, I don't trust you enough to wait patiently and to trust you fully. Just like how Abraham trusted your directions when you send him to the 7 mountains, without his awareness of which one. He trusted you fully that you will direct him to the correct one when the time comes. Lord I want to have the faith that Abraham has, to fully trust upon you that your plans will be made known to me when the time has come. I shall put my faith in you fully.

There are many other areas in my life that I need to improve and grow to be more like Christ. I need to grow to be more persistent in evangelistic lifestyle. I need to grow in the fruit of the spirit in me. I need to grow in wisdom and integrity. I need to grow in my heart for God. I am not leading a good christ-like life, and Lord I want to. Father forgive me for my procrastination and my broken promises and resolutions every year when I pray that I want to grow to be more like Christ and to lead a better christian life. I am weak, and very weak. I may be a leader of a pretty large caregroup, I may have certain influence on some people, I may be an inspiration to certain people in certain ways, I may be blessed with alot of giftings and talents, but I know myself very well. The fact is: there is still so much more for me to grow and learn and improve. Father I humble myself here today just like how Jacob humble himself after He wrestle with You. I may have passed some testings, but Lord it is by your grace that I've overcome them.

God I thank you for the church, Hope Singapore for being a vessel of yours to transform me.
I thank you for my leader, Lennon for drilling me in good and bad times.
I thank you for all my sheeps and ex-sheeps, evan, su maung, huixian, zul, edmund, john, baorun, pooiyee, joella, kestrel and garmeng for giving me the honor to guide them.
I thank you for my future sheeps that you give me the chance to continue to guide somebody.
I thank you for my caregroups, SP2, SP3 and Occidental for amazing me with your vision answered.
I thank you for my future caregroup(s) that you give me the chance to lead them to greater heights.
I thank you for my future ministry that you use me to grow a new talent / skill.
I thank you for the fellow friends, brothers and sisters who you've used to encourage me.
I thank you for the pastors and leaders that have spoke expounding truth from the bible to expand my growth in faith and my knowledge in the word.
I thank you for the fellow leaders in Christ that carry the cross along with me to serve Jesus.
I thank you for my family for I trust you will use me to bring them to Jesus.
I thank you for my giftings and talents to allow me to use them to help others.

There are so many thanks that I have. But the greatest thanks I reserve and give it to you my Lord, Jesus Christ. Thank you for everything. Jesus, Saviour, in my life you are everything.
I love you.

With greatest love and humility,
GenesisJo.

Genesis Jorris 3:18:00 AM

你已不再是你了... 而我也已不再是我了.

If you're looking for Jorris,
she's not here anymore.
What's left,
is the shell of who she is in this world,
with a totally different her inside.

I tried to look for you,
but I don't see you anymore.
I saw the shell of who you are,
with a totally different you within.
And that's why,
Jorris left..
With Genesis here to sustain whatever she have.
Thank God,
he breathe life into Genesis,
so may she excel in her new life.

But where's the God breathe spirit in you?
Why are you so downcast and spiritless?
Why do you make my heart ache?

It pains me to see you like that..
Though perhaps it is just me.
Just me who thinks too much..
Who worry too much..
Though you don't give a damn about me,
I will still pray for you.
Worry about you.
Think for you.

I respect you.
I honour you.
Please.
Wake up.
Wake up from that silence.
And face the challenge,
the world,
face God,
face your life!

Two and a half years over.
There's more to come.
I hope to see you at the end of the race.
Take care.

Genesis Jorris 12:43:00 AM

Could it be the world's gone colder?
Maybe, I'm a losing soul
The more I try it just gets harder
And my pain is getting old

Somebody said that nothing lasts forever
Just the storm so I've been told
But it seems that when it rains it pours

And you know the rain won't last forever
And you know the storm won't always flow
But if the sun don't shine forever
You gotta let it go

Sometimes my burdens get so heavy
And it seems too hard to bear
Sometimes I feel so empty
And it feels like no one's there

Somebody said that nothing lasts forever
Just the storm so I've been told
But it seems that when it rains it pours

And you know the rain won't last forever
And you know the storm won't always flow
But if the sun don't shine forever
You gotta let it go

And you gotta let it go
And you gotta let it go

Genesis Jorris 2:35:00 AM

Sittin alone,
in the living room of a house,
that doesn't seems like a house of my own.
A home that I do not call a home.

The cool and breezy wind sent by God,
blew against my cheeks.
It gives me shivers.
I received emotional chills,
all the way back at Shawn's balcony.
That view from 23rd floor,
with the awesome full moon,
and a beautiful sight of cosmopolitan Singapore,
make me feel happy and lifted.

Don't know why,
many thoughts run in my mind.
Im thinking of something,
thinking of somebody,
or perhaps many people.
The song from my blog plays along with my heart,
Im thinking.

I hope you are okay.
And if you're seeing this,
though I dun think u're going to read my blog..
I just hope,
u're okay and I just want you to know,
Im praying for you.

Have an urge right now..
To jump into a simple mercedes benz,
have a nice buddy driving me around Singapore,
just to let me have some time,
viewing the many things around.
At least,
to keep me occupy away from my thoughts.
Felt like going to the beach,
breathing in the sea breeze,
getting refreshed.

Wanted to see the sun rise,
wanted to just have a time of silence with God.

I just felt like He's putting my heart in love.
In Love, with HIM.

Genesis Jorris 1:52:00 AM

Dear readers,

I am hereby writing a letter to thank all of you, for being a faithful reader to my blog. Either you are a first comer or a regular in this blog, I appreciate your efforts to come and visit, and to take a little peek into Jorris's pen-world. It had been 2 years I think, since I have created this blog.. Changed many blog skins, backslidded from the blog (lol!), and revive/revamp it countless times.. I really hope this blog have inspired some lives of those who have read it, and the many sharings that I have posted had been an encouragement to plenty.. The reason why I set up this blog is to encourage, edify His works, account my life and testify to the realness of the Almighty God... Therefore I really pray this blog had been a real life testimony to many about the ups and downs we have in this spiritual walk, and how God always support me up when dryness and weariness draws me down..

A conclusion of the past 2 years will be a job-testimony.. And I think im still in the midst of experiencing it.. I cannot say that I am the worst of the worst in this whole world, but I am experiencing very tough situations that words cannot express.. The warfare within my heart, had been excruciating and torturing me.. But like wise, often as I shared, God pulled me up with His love and peace, with an unexplanable pat on my shoulder from Jesus that lift me off my feets. I always fall on my knees in the awesome presence of Him. Right now, even as I am still struggling with the internal warfare, where many thoughts run in my mind, I still trust in Jesus who never fail to pull me back into His embrace. Regardless of the circumstances, I trust that God is always in control.. So long I always remember His word and follow His truth, nothing will hinder me in my obedience to the Lord.

Serving as a leader in SP Unit, it had been tough.. But always rewarding. Occidental had always been a testimony I shared to many. How God promises a fruitful caregroup to me, and how He answer me after my patience waiting of one full year. In the midst of confusion and questions regarding leadership, God always never fails to assure me His timing, and His control. He never fail to remind me to trust that He is the one behind all plans. When I doubt myself, and ask who am I to deserve all these honour and responsibility, Jesus always never fails to assure me that He chose me, He picked me, and He still have a long way of plans for me. Jesus, make me a leader of who I am today. Without Him, where am I, who am I.

I just want to take this time, to encourage all readers, that in the book 2 Chronicles, it talks about King Asa.. There was a particular verse in there that states that, whoever seek the Lord will find Him.. But whoever forsake the Lord, will be forsake by the Lord too.. So long you are following His ways, He will never short give you.. Have faith in God, have faith in His calling and His anointing. Do not forsake His plans thinking he will pay more attention to you, because if you forsake the Lord, he will like wise forsake you too. Always trust in the Lord's timing, and await patiently for His plans for you in your life. Just as Jeremiah 29:11 says, the Lord's plans is not to harm you, but to prosper you.. Plans to give you hope and a future.. The Lord has the best plan for you, therefore, wait patiently for His plans to come by.. Because His plans work best under His timing. King Asa was defeated by the very end of His life because He forsaked the Lord.. Despite knowing how the Lord blesses Him before when He always trust God and inquire Him, He still forsake Him at one of the battle.. Therefore, the Lord gave king Asa to his enemies!

Listen readers, I will continue to write the modern story of Job.. And share my ending of blessing at the very end of my spiritual walk with God. I trust, the Lord's promise and calling. =)

pray for me,
GenesisJo.

Genesis Jorris 12:36:00 AM

愛
是一種病毒
侵略你的心房
混亂你的思緒
陷你於悲慟
讓你不知所措

愛
卻是唯一種治癒病毒的方法
只有一位醫師
能濯凈病毒的感染

愛
是如此複雜
但為何許多自願
投奔陷阱

唉嘆...
問世間情為何物
只叫人生死相許

Genesis Jorris 5:10:00 PM

思緒高潮
寧化心靈
罷黜莫衷一是的態度

奢望自由
卻自相矛盾

我責備自我
自嘆不如
自始至終
自欺欺人

我哀悼著哀怨的雨季
哀憐著我的悲憤

但偉愛包納了痛恨
換取感動
我感恩上帝的慈悲
赦免了我的罪惡

我奉現生命的遺跡
因﹍之故
愛.

Genesis Jorris 12:19:00 AM

在我內心深處
隱藏了我的無奈

在話語中
我找尋答案
只換取餘事無普

我乞求上帝
賜給我解脫

給予寧靜的心空
讓我安祥地思索

力量來自心態
從中得勝
平靜的思潮
思前想后

棄置怨恨, 怨言
拋棄個人優益
擁抱偉愛

Genesis Jorris 1:55:00 AM

What kind of tears do you shed?

Tears of joy?
Tears of unspeakable pain?
Tears of fulfilment?
Tears of condemnation?

What kind of tears do I shed?

I think..
My tears comes in unspeakable joy of the awesome power from the Lord who will never fail to cleanse me away from my tears of pain and sorrows.

Tears means alot.
Beneath tears, it tells a story.
And every tears you shed, it tells a different story for you.
Sometimes it had a happy ending,
sometimes it ends solemnly..
Sometimes the story entice another episode..
sometimes the end uncompletely..

What kind of story is your tears telling today?

My tears tell a story of a girl.. who carries a heavy burden on her shoulders.
But it was not heavy, because somebody lift her up with His arms.
She is grateful.. But she thinks she dun deserve.
She felt sinful sometimes, she condemn herself sometimes.
But that person, who lift her up with His arms,
assured her.. She's loved as who she is.
She break down in tears.. again.
But this time, the tears sparkles in joy.
She was joyful, and touched by His love for her.
She's weak.. She's not a good person too..
But His love change everything.
She's still not perfect, she's still missing out alot of things..
But His love is patient for her.

She loves Him.

Don't stop your tears from flowing..
Its not a sign of weakness.
Its a sign of relieve..
God gave us eyes to cry..
And as known, eyes are the window to our soul.
leting the tears to flow freely,
are a relieve for your soul..
Don't flood your soul with the tears..
It will suffocate,
it will explode one day..

And dun force your tears out..
As known, crocodile tears..
Crocodile dun cry.
Forcing tears to come out when its not time,
will only exhaust your spirit.
Your soul will be dry..
and weary..

Have you understand your tears, and their tears?
If you have not..
Try to understand them..
Try to listen to the stories they are telling.
They tell great stories..
They make a big part of our soul.

=)

Genesis Jorris 10:13:00 PM

This is the 20 randomness blog game. Meant for tagging others =)
Here's the plot:

- write 20 sentences randomly about urself
then you can tagged ur blog buds to post this up on their blogs too. =)

20 randomness about me
1. I can inspire you, but I can depletes you.
2. What you see on the outside of me, may not be what is in me.
3. I love, I love to love, and I love you.
4. When my stomach growls, dun mess with me.
5. Im a tai-tai with a little bit of ruggedness + cutie pie, call me thick-skin also.
6. Im a woman of sarcasm, can't stand my critics? Tell me.
7. I plan, and always plan. Planning is always ME.
8. I love my caregroup Occidental, and a new unforesee creativity team under my pioneering.
9. My life is not mine, its His.
10. I am full of sins, and full of God's grace. In Him I find forgiveness in repentance.
11. I dun just look at you, but I see you. Seeing, not looking. They're different.
12. Im in love. Guess who? lol. If you know me, u'll know who is HE.
13. Sometimes I laugh, always. Why? Because I dun feel like replying anymore. =)
14. I can be strong and strict, but I am weak and soft.
15. Emotions in me are under control, but when they break, they really break.
16. I can act. Even when Im sad, I can be happy.
17. Ask me to cry, I can.
18. I look far, but often, I look within.
19. I want eagles to soar like me. Not just soaring like eagles.
20. I am who I am. Don't make me the kind of person you think I am. Unless you're God.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So here I go tagging....!!!!!!
Tagged: Baorun, Jeremy Kiu, Barnabas, Lennon, Joella, Thomas, Jen, Shuling, Pooiyee, Peiyi, John....... You can do this too even if you're not tagged! lol. I may forget names sometimes.

Genesis Jorris 1:53:00 PM

Sing songs, of worship.

Worship.
It makes different meaning in each individual.
worship to some is a source of healing wounds;
worship to some is a time of singing beautiful songs that contains beautiful lyrics;
worship to some is all about the time you spent dwelling in the music;
worship to some can just be a time for them to relax and rest their soul.

But what is worship?
worship is singing His praises.
worship is a divine exchange privileged for Christians with their Holy Creator.
worship is different every single time.
worship is precious, and is always cherished.

I was worshipping God with the song "rain down" once again.
At that favourite void-deck of block 270.
I did not sing,
but I sang it in my heart.
Worship is it about voices?
Is it about the lyrics?
To me, at that point of time,
worship was about my heart.
Everytime I worship with all my heart,
I will always break down at the awesome presence of the Lord.
Holy Spirit filled me and bring me to my knees,
tears will flow naturally because He is Good.

What is worship to you?
Psalm 96:9 says,
Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth.
Do you tremble before His presence when you meet Him face to face?
Psalm 95:6 says,
Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;
Do you bow down in worship, and kneel before His awesomeness, because of WHO HE IS?
Psalm 100:2 says,
Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.
Do you come before the Lord with your worship that sing in joy for His love, or with obligation?

For me,
all I wanted to do,
is to meet God in worship.
To worship everything he gave me, for who am I, to deserve all these.
To worship Him for who He is, for His greatness and power.
To worship Him for just simply I reason,
because.
I really love Him. It's not loved. But Im still loving Him.

Genesis Jorris 12:14:00 AM

Seeing, not looking.

You know sometimes, you may be looking at something,
but you're not really seeing it.

But yet, you can see something,
without really looking at it.

There are many things we can see, but we can't look at it.
Or there can be many things that we are looking at, but we dun see it as others do.

Can you see the history and pain an old woman walk through in her wrinkles,
when she sit in front of you on a bench with a strawberry ice-cream?

Can you see the sorrow and hurt in a young lady spiritless eyes,
when she walk out of the door with heavy steps?

Can you see the joy of a father when He sits in the middle,
taking a family photo with his wife, his daughter and his son in the graduate's robe?

Can you see the pain her's heart?
can you see it without looking at it?

I think, I did.

And God did.

You know, God have this magnificent ability. He is able to see your sorrow, your joy, your pain, your hurts, your anger, any of your emotions that you can name it. He see it, and He shares it with you. If you cry, He will have tears with you. If you are happy, He will rejoice with you. If you are hurt, He will heal you. If you are filled with pain, He will walk the journey of pain with you. He always see it, can't you see that He can see?

Don't just look at it, see it.
You will see,
his love,
his grace,
his benevolence,
his tolerance,
his pain for us,
his tears,
his forgiveness,
his, for us.

Along the streets as I drifted back home,
a song came to me.
Rain down screams in my ears,
through the earpieces attached to my ipod.

Rain down of his presence shouted at me,
I was ministered even down that 5 minute journey.
His presence was awesome,
I felt like worshipping him right at the void-deck of block 270.
In fact, all those frustrations and irritations in me,
just seems to go missing at that moment.
He just make me focus everything,
on Him. Just Him.

I see Him, though I can't look at Him.
I see Him, with my heart, my soul, my spirit.

Frustrations.
Anger.
Irritations.
Challenges.

They are little and nothing in the midst of meeting God.
There are little things that I do not bother about.
Because God is my everything. =)

Ask of you Lord,
release me even more.

Genesis Jorris 9:49:00 PM

Focusing had been my forte recently.
But yet it can be my disaster too.

Well, I guess it really depends on where I put my heart in.

If I wanted to focus on growing the group in quality and quantity,
I'll get results like now whereby nothing really can hinder me.

but well.. If I put my thoughts running around in a wrong path,
I'll end up getting lost and confused and will panick.

What about today?

I had quite a fruitful day...
Manage to have a fruitful full-dress rehearsal for my drama play.
It is really amazing to witness how the group gradually unite together.
Im really proud of my group,
and really glad to get to know all those new friends.
Thank God many of them have already receive Jesus!
But of course... I have a burden to continue to share to the rest who have rejected the good news.

After that went on for lunch, with shawn and peiyi.
Two different souls, carrying different burdens,
different problems.
Well, I pray that God will lead them to the solutions.
And receive their stress and pain in their heart.
May God bless their family, and relationships with family members.
May God bless their studies and revision.
May God bless their souls for the kingdom.
May God bless their heart that could be broken.

It is laiteng birthday's celebration after that!
I believe that it was a really natural and fun one..
Hope laiteng really enjoys it. haaaa.
Love her man.

The plot is:
trick her with an ugly cake.
ask her to eat it.
then we say we buy some noodles to compensate.
In the end!
It was a cake make into noodle-like.
Interesting? whahaa.
Hope she like the gift too..
It is a keychain made by Hand by wanting and pooiyee.
Really sweet of them.
With plenty of cards from all of us. =)

Well..... after that there was a meeting to discuss about the upcoming openhouse!
we're intending to evangelise and get to know some friends thru direct approach and surveys..
I believe the meeting should be pretty fruitful?
Wasn't present because I decide to return home..
asked my coreteams to stay with the eastraelites to enjoy their meetings.
Though before the meeting didn't have a very smooth time because..
rub shoulders and stuffs.
But God just make me focus on His love man.
Nothing else make a difference.
He loves me, means He loves me. haha.

And last but not least,
GOd I LOVE YOU!

Genesis Jorris 12:18:00 AM

Me and santono! Hard to get a photo with him man.

Hanhong and the new B of the day: Weiquan!

Me together with Brian =)

Me and the Macho Sheep!

Yeah I know she's cool. Yanhan!

Wanting and Peiyi!

I dun have any affinity to take photos with yiheng i guess.
(This is the fifth attempt)

Jeremy Kiu with Vincent

Me with Cutie Bobby! wahaha.

Genesis Jorris 10:20:00 PM

Look at the sky,
it gives me shivers.

Look at the past,
I rather not look back.

The past few weeks had been draining my spirituality that I broke down in tears during service. Its the first time I ever cry so badly. From the beginning, until the very end. Even after CLM, I still feel like crying along the way home.. But God, thank God, He comforts my soul in my tears. In praise when I stood there still clapping my hands with no tempo in me, He knew it. He knew I didn't meant to praise Him in this deadness. I just can't seems to find the source of strength to jump and praise Him at that time. I was tearing when people around me jump.

In worship, memories, bad bad memories of the past few weeks keep flowing in. They condemn me and captivated me. I was lost. Totally lost in that time even though I really wanted badly to focus on worship and ask of God to refresh me. He knew it. He knew I was filled with pain and sorrow therefore I can't bring myself to concentrate on worshipping Him. In Holy Communion, xueting went on stage and said something really funny. Its just her i guess, her style of speaking that makes everything funny. But I just can't bring myself to laugh. I cried instead.

In sermon, I started with a determined heart that Im not going to cry again but focus on the sermon. I succeeded in part 1, but when it comes to part 2 & 3 of the sermon, I broke down. My hands just can't seems to move and write down the notes. I stone right there. Even when Jeremy Kiu tried to make fun of me, I just remain unmotionless. And stare straight on stage, right on Jasmine poon while my mind keep flooded by all the conversations I had with the hurtful one, all the thoughts that condemn me, that killed me. My eyes was watery. Tears are about to fall.

In altar call, I can't stop myself but cry. I can't stop. God keep telling me, Let go, let go, forget about it. In me, I keep telling God, I can't, I can't, I simply can't. I cry like a little baby. Perhaps not crying, I was wailing. Randall came over to me, and hold my hands. I rejected. I move away. She held on. I continue to reject. and cry aside. Jasmine poon ask for people to respond. I did not went down. I wanted to, but i dun want my unsightful tears to stumble anyone. I stood still. At the last moment. She grab me and pull me towards her shoulders. I dunno what to do. I let go. I really let go. and just wail. First time I ever cry, this heavy.

Then I realise, the past testings and tough times are just kids stuffs. This is the real tough one.

I felt like Job. I felt like singing the song which goes "If you're hurt and you feel like crying.. And you feel like nobody understands what you thinks.."

And like wise, like Job, I will overcome with God's grace and with great perseverance.

Thank all who had been worried. Thank all who had prayed for me. Perhaps few are aware of anything, and wonder what is it, but I just want to say, God kept me strong and will keep me strong for His kingdom, for His love for me, for His people.

Tears will not hold me back.
Eagles will soar like me.
=)

Genesis Jorris 12:21:00 AM

I am

I know

I Speak