.You make the GENESIS out of Me.

Excited.

Im excited to do things for God. very very. Do not know how to explain myself... But whenever I start to talk about the magnificence of God in my life, and thinking of all the plans to spread His gospel to the people and all the events to be held....... My body and soul will just burn with fire. I must not let any wicked matters affect my heart towards the Lord.. Must not let all these things to take away the joy that I have in my heart! Must fight strong and move forward! wheeeeee~

Excited for God just make me happy. really. Though there are big burdens I have to carry, because of facts and truth hidden under the blankets of reality.. But I believe God will overcome all these for me. He speaks to me to persevere. He said ultimately the wicked will not win. He assures me of victory. He ask of me to trust in Him. Yes! Must and will put my trust in Him! And surely I will persevere through this tough times... I must work hard for the people of God! But not to serve men, but to serve God. Whether they are in the wrong, Im in no position to judge. Let the final judge bring about His judgement on them. I will move on to do His work for me to do.

And all those stupid things that are revolving around trying to draw my attention away from God... I tell u satan! I will not be overcome or beaten by you! I will not focus on those irritating facts that you have lure some of them to offend... I will fight on strong to my purpose! Never will you win because God have already wins! I declare a battle against you. Do not try to challenge me! Because you can never win God who is providing and supporting me. You yourself know very well the strength and power of God. Everything God will recover them! Back off evildoers!

A beautiful battle is assured.

Genesis Jorris 2:25:00 PM

Prayer.

I do not know what exactly is in this path of my life, but I do know the one who created it, my God. Though the roads are getting rocky and the air is becoming misty, I will not be afraid. Because I trust my Lord for providence and protection. Father, I may have the faith in you and I may have the determination to stand firm for you but I fear one day I might fall and slip off. Nobody else is around to support me at all. Not buddies, not leaders, not shepherds. Only you. Only your support can hold me strong! And therefore I make a prayer to you that no matter what you will strengthen my faith in you so it will not break. No matter what you will give me perseverance and determination so that I will not be overcome by all the testings and tough times. You have overcome this world for me.

Indeed like what you have spoken in the beginning of the year.. That its going to be a tough year in 2007. And Im already experiencing your strict testings falling on my life... I will remember what you have warn me and follow job's footsteps.. To persevere on despite the tough times are torturing and unimaginable. I will do all this for you my Lord. Just for you. But im afraid my weak body will give way to satan's tricks. Therefore Lord I pray you will be there to remind me of my initiate stand! Help me to always remember your reminders so may I hold on till your blessings come.. I do not long for blessings to come that's why I peresevere, but because I know all these will be over and I could serve you greater when your blessings come. Take good care of the heart that I have offered to you.

Surely Lord. I love you. Though times and times in the middle of the night tears overflow. Images flash in my mind that torture my soul. Yet surely I know of your love for me. Don't you felt the same pain as me? Don't you grief over for my soul when you understand my plight? I know and understand your love for me, thank you. Go ahead and rebuke me if I did anything wrong. I want to be corrected. So then can I be leading a holy and pleasant life.

Lord give me strength to Serve you.
Amen.

Genesis Jorris 12:55:00 PM

What's going on.

Hmm. Something weird. I sense another testing from God is coming in my way. Its something about getting me to be more hardworking. Getting me to work more efficiently too.

God is also testing my patience and understanding too. Over certain issues. Throwing me ridiculous situations so that I can be patient and seriously calm down first. After that, learn the entire matter clearly, so that I could understand better.

Ah pa ah. U must sustain me consistently k. =)

Genesis Jorris 10:32:00 PM

Joy.

My heart is filled with gladness. My eyes are all brighten up. Have a jumping spirit deep in me. Indescribable happiness filled my body, causing me to smile and laugh to myself when there's nobody. Im joyful. And glad at how God works in people's life. Thank you God for relieving my grief for the people you have put other my care. Witnessing them growing is my greatest joy. I do not know really how to express my gratitude to God.. But my only wish is to continue to serve God with a sincere heart and groom the people strong. Im definitely not a strong leader or a good leader. Yet I know my God is strong and good. He will provide for me. Depending on Him is the only thing that I can do and the best thing on earth that I can rely on. He is my refuge, and my rock.

Im joyful because I know very well me being such a weak person have been able to walk so far because God is always there to support me and hold me up when i fall. I've been trying to put on a hard shell around me since young because I know im really fragile. I will wash my face with tears every time happenings in my life push me into deep pits.. Crying on my pillow is the only thing that I could do back then. Till i get to know God. He was the only one who convince me to remove my hard shell and open my heart. It was not under any protection, and I indeed was fearful of getting hurt. But the Lord was good, His presence protected my heart with an invincible shield, nothing could enter and overwhelm me, because he have overcome the world. I learn dependence on oneself is good, but its never perfect. Only God's love is perfect. Only the shield that is build from His love is the strongest. Thank you my Lord.

And because of His love for me, my love for others increases. To put other before self become my motto today. For i really want to give all of my love for the others. What for reserve love for myself when God's love for me is already sufficient? I do not want to regret not loving my friends to my best. I do not want to wait to give my all just to care and concern those out there who have not know God, and have not receive His love. God help me to love all those out there who have not experience your love so may they not have to build up their own hard shell and protect themself from the attacks of this world. Help me to spread your love to them so may their life no longer be the same. I may be weak and fragile in loving these strangers, but Lord I desire that i can be build strong and pass on your love to them, so may they be your love ambassadors in the future. Fill me with great courage my Lord.

[GenJ]
I love you all SP3 once again.
Evan. Brian. Shawn. Gideon. ???. ???. ???. ???. ???. ???. ???.

What does all those ??? means? It represents the new born babies that will be joining us. I believe. do you believe? Let's charge my dearies. =)

Genesis Jorris 3:42:00 PM

Answers.

God speaks: You are already forgiven. Why still ask whether will you be pardon?
[Acts 13:38]

Tough times are to mature us and fill us till we are complete. Isn't it a time to rejoice instead of doubting and running around the bushes, and not getting to the focus? Stop thinking too far, but be glad God is moulding you. Remember "stephanie gui" testimony.
[James 1:4]

God emphasizes trust in Him in the bible so many times. If you believe and trust and gave your best, He will do the rest. This is His promise.
[Psalms 119:116]

Its not about patience. But we know everything is within God's control. Therefore whether is it another going to be another marathon for you, or you can proceed on to another race in your life, do not worry. Do not fret. His plans are always the best. Just wait and see what He's going to do next. Have faith.
[Mark 4:40]

Remember, lead your life so as not to fail God. Not man.
[Matthew 24:13]

Just stop thinking all the things that have not happen. Stop thinking about the things that you can't do and have not done. Think and focus on what you can do now. Whether you will get pass this phrase, do not worry. And stop doubting. Doubting yourself is equivalent to doubting the creator. Remember the spirit is in you. Therefore the fruit of the spirit is always in you too. Joy, have always been in your heart, its only a matter of whether you realise its presence a not. Hope is just like the reality of God. So long God is around, Hope is around. Obedience, humility, desire is all about whether the message from your heart reaches your mind.

And listen: You are His creation. And He loves you. And you are most precious to Him, just like everyone. He created you with giftings, with limbs, with family, with testimonies, with friends, with love, with the best plan He have for your life. Do not doubt yourself alright? You are just like everybody, His best creation.

Take heart, God has overcome the world. There is nothing in this world you can't overcome, because God is with you.

Genesis Jorris 2:05:00 PM

A post dedicated to the one who proclaim he is not who we think he is.

Yes indeed, you're not who we think you are.
You are who you really are.
Many memories must have flood into your mind right?
Especially after the times of throwing you into your own personal reflection.
Im not sure will you be reading this or not. But I'll pray that this message will eventually reach you.
Its time to grow up. And all these are meant for your good.
Though I do not know how long I could still be there to guide.
But the God that is brightening your way will still be the same God twenty years time.
Just want to let you know, you are greatly treasured.
You are cherish in this family.
Face this with courage and joy.
Instead of washing your face with tears.
Sorrows and grief will definitely be expected.
But God put them in your life not to push you into a pit.
He wants to train you.
Mould you.
Shape you.
Teach you.
So may you be ready for a greater purpose.
Learn it well and mature.
I'll still be there to give you a pat on the shoulder.
Do not fill yourself with regrets.
But look ahead and look far.
Sincerely with love.

All just for your best.

Genesis Jorris 5:30:00 PM

Monday Blues.

Nah. Im not having monday blues. In fact im having a monday fever! Having the Lord around me is just so much of a difference. Though everything is still the same. But i just have that sweet infilling of joy in my heart. Thank you God.

Today I dun have much to say.. Cause im not in the mood to blog. But still, some happenings today are like I had a damn funny chat with nel? It was a short one but well... hahaha. You can ask her about it if you dare. About the "xiao nu ren" thing. hahahahaha. Then I complete my report! Praise God! Felt so good after completing it... and also giving it my due effort. =) Then there was the unit dinner... Not really unit dinner lar, cause not many turn up.. Due to the fact it was study week, most of them are not in school what for come to school rite... But well.. Those who came of course had a good time.. keke... And there was this "ting ting" joke around there... Making fun of me... all because of that JOHN. humphs. Never mind. Must got patience and gentleness.

Anyway.. I got a new habit. I like to hit people! Oh my God! What to do! hahhahahaa.
So people, beware.

byebye! Love you all Love God.

Genesis Jorris 11:14:00 PM

Nostalgic.

Feelings swell in my heart and a sense of emotions flood in the area of my nose. Causing me to realise im about to cry. Over the conversation with Brian... we start to talk about memories.. About when the time comes for me to leave SP unit, I will really cry.. And really cry bitterly? Thoughts pass by my mind, what if what i wanted to do i did not fulfil? Then my tears will surely taste bitterly.. It will be saddening.. We were viewing the SP unit video.. reminds me of gideon.. He's graduating soon... where would he go will be confirm in the coming future... But I have a feeling I will cry when he leave.. You know? Its been quite a tough and long time in SP3.. Having him as my sheep wasn't an easy journey too.. going through thicks and thins wasn't something that can just forget over a one night sleep or some graduation night party..

The song promise of the lifetime rings in my mind.. Its like graduation by vitamin C that always bring tears to students who leave secondary schools for JCs and polys.. Its the graduation song for SP unit... Tears start to flood in the frames of my eyes.. Brian started to talk about the times in the past when we were in SP5... We simply can't shake each other off as he commented.. Laughs.. He starts to talk about his past shepherd, lennon... The times that they used to spend, he misses them.. He likes the time spend together with him... And we came to the conclusion we should cherish what ever we have now before its too late.. Before a time comes for us to lose and regret.. Memories Memories Memories... Like what he says, its emo-sessions.. Its never feeling good to think of this.. But departure has to come one day..

When will it be my turn?
Tears.

Genesis Jorris 11:01:00 PM

Saturday Fantasy.

Just like any other saturdays, its always the best day of the week because of the opportunity to come and meet God together with the community, the church. I love my group, I love the times that I can spend together with them, laughing loudly without any restrictions with my fellow caregroup mates and unit mates.. I like to humor them with my unthinkable jokes, always stirring the people sitting around me to laugh non-stop.. I always long to meet up with my fellow brothers and sisters from the other units, RP, NS, NP, TP, DI, NYP.. To disturb Mr Colin because he always disturb me =.= To joke with Mr Donald that his shirt is too "uncle-ish".. To chit-chat with Mr Windez till middle of the night.. To wander around orchard and esplanade with my beloved xueping.. To "lame" and "freeze" each other with Mr Martin.. To call my dear Nel "da jie" because she behave and have the style of my elder sister (lol). But the most important thing is, I can praise and worship God with a space that was reserve just for me and all the others to do that. It was a privilege, a honour, and the best thing i could do on earth.

Yesterday Praise and Worship was fabulous, to me.. For I wanted to have a breakthrough.. And i believe I did it.. And I want to install the heart of P&W in everyone who is in the same unit as me.. To bring out the strong desire in all to really give our best in giving praise to the Lord and saviour. Rather than be driven by the band and the singers.. Although the band and the singers yesterday did not do as well as they usually does.. But I could sense the joy and gladness in my heart as I give my best to sing and jump and lift my hands to the Lord.. These physical actions are not the most important.. What that matters the most was my heart. Drawing so near to the Lord brings joy to me. Because He loves me so greatly.

I wanted to proclaim I love my caregroup even more during these few days as I get to know the Lord better, and love Him even greatly. When the holy spirit starts to activate stronger in my life, my burden and love for them increases... I really want to be their great leader.. I do not want to fail them because I do not want to fail God. I love evangeline and my best way of loving her is to help her to love and trust God more.. That is ultimately what I long to do.. Not to get her to respect me or believe in me, but believe in God. But to see one day she will suppass me, and grow even strongly than me. I love Gideon, for who he is. Despite of his emotions, and many times he simply let his "emo" self overwhelm him, I will still persevere and stand strong to assist him, with God's strength. I seriously want to be used as the channel to build him up and help him to use his giftings even greatly for God.. To be there and help him to kick his bad habits away, so that he could focus even greatly in his work.. I will not give up, or be weaken by the attacks that comes, though my heart hurts, but my sorrows and grief over him hurts me even greater.. Thus I will not fail, until God calls another to guide his way. I love brian and i long to see him experience God to a greater level... I will pray hard to be that testimony in his life so may he put his trust in God.. I want to share many stories to help him in having faith in Jesus, and then he could take a leap in his life journey and be a witness himself in the name of Jesus. I love shawn and aim to help him be a serving child of God. I wish to be the icon that God use to represent His love for him, so may it manifest in his entire body and let him learn to love others too.. I hope to always be able to keep watch for him so may he have a support when he is lost. I want to be a leader that could be use by God to soften his heart and assist him to get rid of his sinful nature of anger and bitterness. God use me. I have a great burden. And i cry over them day and night. My grief is increasing, my sorrows are overwhelming, because I really love them.

Help me to love them by anointing me with everything I've prayed to you. God please. I beg you. I plead you.

Tears rolling down my cheeks.
Cry Me.

Genesis Jorris 1:50:00 PM

Divine Exchange

God speaks last night.

Isaiah 58:11
The LORD will guide you always;

he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

like a spring whose waters never fail.

Like the rainbow that never fails to appear after a rain, so will the Lord's promise to me never fail to fulfil after storms of tears that have fallen on my cheeks. He promises His guidance, He promises His providence. He ensures my protection, and He assures the blessings upon my land to be never ending. The growth will begin and continue, just like how a spring sprouts and never stop flowing.

Ecclesiates 12:13-14
Now all has been heard;

here is the conclusion of the matter:

Fear God and keep his commandments,

for this is the whole duty of man.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,

including every hidden thing,

whether it is good or evil.

Do what you are suppose to do and what you can do, rather than fretting over things that you can't even reach and trying to attempt things that you can't even do. Keep your own spiritual life in check, and ignore about whether others are doing alright or not. The Lord is watching, and definitely those who disobey he will punish and judge accordingly. Keep your life in obedience to His commands.

John 16:1-4
(the message version)
I've told you these things to prepare you for rough times ahead. They are going to throw you out of the meeting places. There will even come a time when anyone who kills you will think he's doing God a favor. They will do these things because they never really understood the Father. I've told you these things so that when the time comes and they start in on you, you'll be well-warned and ready for them.

God's warning have arrive to the heart of yours. Then be alert for the time that may come where misunderstandings falls upon you. Nobody may understands what you are doing and may even hate you, to the extend of saying you are unholy and even proclaiming that you blaspheme the name of God, but the Lord says: " persevere for I have already told you what you will face, remain in Me."

Psalms 119:137-144
(amplitude bible)
righteous are You, O Lord, and upright are Your judgments and all expressions of Your will.
You have commanded and appointed Your testimonies in righteousness and in great faithfulness.
My zeal has consumed me and cut me off, because my adversaries have forgotten Your words.

Your word is very pure (tried and well refined); therefore Your servant loves it.
I am small (insignificant) and despised, but I do not forget Your precepts.
Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and Your law is truth.
Trouble and anguish have found and taken hold on me, yet Your commandments are my delight.
Your righteous testimonies are everlasting and Your decrees are binding to eternity; give me understanding and I shall live [give me discernment and comprehension and I shall not die].

This is what the Lord has to say about you. See, he understands you. He loves you that's why he knows in detail how have you been to Him and describe in details to you of His observations about you. He knows you are lost and been praying for understanding from Him. The Lord knows clearly what you are going through, for it is all within His plans.

2 Chronicles 19:9

He gave them these orders: "You must serve faithfully and wholeheartedly in the fear of the LORD.

This is the Lord's advice: Continue to serve faithfully and wholeheartedly to Him. And fear Him, then can you continue to be in line with Him.

Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God loves you. He will not crush you. Not to worry about His punishments. The fear is correct. The fear in Him is justice. But let not it strain the relationship, trust in Him. And believe in Him. And remain in Him. For as the Lord states, nothing can seperate you from Him anymore. Jesus had already died.

God loves me. By his amazing grace. His precious blood.
Sorry Lord.

Let me be slow to anger.

Now Im at my own.

I beg before your throne.

Worship you forever, my glorious king.

You died for me.

Lifting my hands up to you.

As you have redeemed me.

You alone are worthy.

Worthy is the Lord.

Agape.

Genesis Jorris 9:14:00 PM

Rest but Restless.

Decided to take a personal off-day from school today and slept till like 12.30pm? Had a fantastic morning freak up with the realisation that I have exceed the timing to go to school and saliva on my face that resulted from my dear dog, kiki. My eyes can hardly open, wondering whether is it because I slept too much or my weary body is wearing me off. =.= Today is one of the few times that i felt washing up is so beneficial to me as I finally recover my wide opened eyes and proceed to greet my dear dad who is engross in killing all those stuffs in his favourite pastime: Maple Story. Dun laugh at this, he is kinda "pro" not "noob" in it for being able to reach a level of 127 and somemore his character were of good statistics. But the recent time spent together with my family were indeed fruitful, manage to build better relationship with them. Another step nearer to family salvation, Amen.

Moving on, spend quite long hours slacking together with my brother watching Bleach, the last few episodes.. Or rather the last few episodes available on youtube where the bounto is finally destroyed, praise God. =) Yet half way through receive this call or rather sms from randall stating my dear sheep mr Gideon is very sick and can't even move. Oh My God. My heart sank and I simply can't even concentrate on my Bleach anymore. Went in and out in and out of my room to call up everybody that I could reach to get them to help me visit Gideon. Really at that period of time I felt like rushing to school and go see how is he. But randall who end at 5pm states she will go visit him right after I better don't go then. So I continue to look for my "saviour" but apparently everybody went home already.. Tried calling him so many times but simply can't reach him. Was worried, and fretting. And keep wondering is it randall who exaggerated things. Can't move is really very serious you know????

And there I get everybody to help even including Edmund. He wanted to help me check it out but seems like he's quite busy with his project and is leaving school soon. Don't want to trouble him so decided to just wait patiently for randall to end her lesson and hear news. Brian freak out too together with me as we frantically look for Gideon and try calling and smsing, but futile!

so I wait.

At 5.30pm i guess, Brian get back to me to tell me Gideon is just fine, he was sleeping previously and felt much better after that and is about to go home. I was relieve.. But a ball of anger also rise in me! I was like why I tell randall to get back to me she simply never! And that Gideon didn't even reply my calls after seeing so many missed calls? Phew~ Was burning at one second, and at another was much settle down because he is alright. Its Okay bah. The most important thing is he felt better and have the strength to return home. Just hope it won't worsen and God will heal him so may he be in a healthy body to serve Him and have his exams.

Slow to anger is what God dropped into my mind!
But that was like medicine to me.. keke.
Good Good.

But anyway, because of this incident, my rest turn out me being restless instead. Though now I know he's fine and returning home, I still can't settle my heart. Signs. Just hope if he is really that sick please take care and go back home... Must treat the temple of God with great care!

Genesis Jorris 6:23:00 PM

Find that my blog been a little dull with only words and dim colors... Thus! I decided to brighten it up with my beautiful face! Pictures with many others! hahahahahahah. All God's people are beautiful alright. =)

Our attempt to take group photo during our combined caregroup near milennia walk at the mcdonalds of marina square using Ed's machintosh. Apparently it is a failed attempt. =.=

Don't set your goals too near you. You may stumble and fall over it. Rather, set it far, so may you see clearly and achieve it. Future leaders will learn to look far then focus on the problems that lies ahead right now. We need to persevere to believe in fulfiling the impossible, then can it be possible.

I just love this photo lar, don't ask me why im posting this again and again. keke. I love my sheep.. and she is the longest sheep I ever have... Its been like.. coming to one year already! I believe we will continue to walk longer in this shepherd and sheep relationship.. I love you evangeline! Let's break the barrier and win the fight! =)

Another sheep of mine. Mr Pinky Gideon. Alright, he have the gifting of "acting cute" and I must always be there to keep a look out. Especially in times where he is sick (like now). However really hope that I could be a better shepherd for him and seriously taking care of this child of God! (gideon: Please sleep early and rest well k?)

I just love her.. There's always many who commented and agree, its only when you lost something, then you learn of its value.. Like wise you never learn to cherish your shepherds till then become ex-shepherds.. She was my first shepherd. Been a silent support all along.. But still want to say, thank God for you Larina, you make a difference in my life.

Now emotions are flowing into my heart.. As I browse through all these photos, which represent memories, of all the good times, and the tough times that have pass throughout this period that i have been together with Hope church.. So many brothers and sisters come and go in my life.. That I even lose count... As the song "come home running" plays from my computer... I suddenly have a pinch in my heart, and I felt like crying... all these emotions... They're not bad, these emotions are good... For they brought me to reflect, and reminicise.. Oh God, indeed you've been with me. And your arms are always open wide for me. I grew so much in this One year six months and eleven days. And each day have been carefully planned by you. Thank you. Tears of Joy. Will flood my heart and cheeks.

Love God because He makes who I am today.

Genesis Jorris 2:18:00 PM

Devotions 4 Abba Father.

I hope its not too late to realise now then that devoting time to God with the word, the spirit and the prayer is important. However, i truely believe its never too late to return to walking right with God, and build my foundation once again with the cornerstone of communication, the pillars of His holy word and the shelter of recognising His voice in the midst of storms and thunders. Devotions are like medicine to spiritual illness, healing your impairements whenever things do not operate well in your spiritual life. God rebuke me weeks ago of my spiritual impairement. I was drifting away like a boat floating in the middle of a sea, because I did not control my thoughts, neither do I have patience in the Lord's plan for me. Rather, I imagine evil thoughts in others and try to take control of my life into my own hands. Without my consciousness. I was walking further away from Him without me knowing it, taking control while I ask God to take control, proclaiming im healthy but in fact im already weakened and lying on my deathbed.

All because I did not eat my food. Spiritual food. Thus the hunger drives me to sickness, problems, blindness, deafness. I have eyes but do not see, I have ears but do not hear. I keep trying all I can to serve the Lord with my physical body and screaming to Him, "God, God, why have you forsaken me?" But God is not deaf. He can hear even if it is my faintest voice.. It is the heartbeat that speaks to Him through me. It is not the amount that I have serve the Lord that he values the most. Not the form, but the value of my service and action. Did I fail the Lord?

Yes I did. I failed to listen to His voice even though he patiently speaks and waited for me to listen to Him. Yet thanks for His amazing grace upon me that he have patience on me. He waited for me to response to His love, and all the waiting He have given me. Thus He moulds me today, to learn of the value that lies in devotions, rather than executing them in my life like they are duties and responsibilities of a christian. I hold true to keeping them active and feeding myself food for spiritual life as a promise to the Lord. Because I do not want to fail Him who forgive me and gave me chances again n again. Just like last night, I simply could not fall into my sleep and it was already 2am.. I was wondering why and my heart just can't settle down.. At that point of time, Holy Spirit keeps flashing 1 Peter in my mind again n again.. And thus finally I decided to take action and start reading 1 Peter in the bible, and pen down my thoughts on a journal. Then can I fall into my sleep and have a good rest to get ready for today.

Value to share... As i make that promise to the Lord to seriously have devotions regularly in my life, he will assist me with the Holy Spirit by reminding me during times where I was tired and weary and could not recall what I have forgotten. Im really determined to devote my time greatly to God and get to know Him better as time passes. God you hear this. =)

Today was also the day where we had our combined caregroup.. The attendance was not really good due to examinations and projects where due dates are approaching in the coming few weeks.. Only less than half of the unit turn up for the caregroup and the new believers that we expected did not turn up.. Nevertheless, the caregroup was heart-warming.. Because of the fellowship had together with members that are from other caregroups.. Been a long time since we had combined caregroup as a unit.. Would say, God speaks and drop a seed to many hearts today during the caregroup. I believe God's message came in many different ways and channels, but truely this seed will sprout and grow in these hearts he have touched today. The games may not be creative... But the ones who planned it have put in effort and heart to bless the caregroups with their ability.. Thank God for elisha and vincent. It was a fruitful time.. The prayer was a time of reflection and listening to God's voice. My apologies to have not been able to lead the prayer well as i struggle between continuing the prayer pointers that was planned before hand or to follow what God have dropped into my heart.. Ultimately making the choice to follow the Holy Spirit indeed was correct. In which, God was exactly speaking about a pure heart, prioritizing Him, and procrastination of devotion. But as I shared in the caregroup... God's rebuke is something to rejoice and not to be discourage or worry.. Because it only shows that he is watching and taking well care of us in every aspects! Let's praise and give thanks to the Lord for the reminder and teaching he gave us today.

Last but not least, wanted to affirm Joella and Florence for the wonderfully planned holy communion today because I believe it was really creative and heart warming. Continue to contribute your creative ideas to the unit and bring holy communion leading to a greater height! Not only will it be about seriousness and repentance.. but similarly it can be fun and relaxing. yet carried out in the attitude of worship. Thank God for Yiheng too for being flexible in replanning the new believer celebration into a camp discussion. It was very well lead in terms of your presentation skills because I believe it really improve alot! Can see your confidence increasing, keep it up. Also, will keep you and your sheep in prayer so may the breakthrough comes as soon as possible! Thanks to all the others who turn up for the caregroup too... As for those who didn't manage to make it... Will pray for your studies and health.

May God loves you!
Amen.

Genesis Jorris 9:56:00 PM

How great is our God.

Im so blessed. Thank you my Lord. You've been that brightest star in my life guiding me in all the times of darkness and when i was blinded by all the lies in this world. Today was a fruitful day.. And i could sense God's blessing upon me throughout the whole day as I try my best to lead my life holy and pleasing to Him, to which I prayed day and night to Him. The retail class was great as I felt that my relationship with my classmates with those in the retail class getting better.. The lecturer was really nice to me.. She had always been giving me chances and I could foresee my retail results topping in the class. Praise the Lord. Design and getting into advertising line had always been my forte. Really glad by accident God plan me into something that is actually better for me. The short presentation was fantastic, and the lesson had been relaxing. Tomorrow there will be a formal presentation for ECM, God bless me and my group mates with a fruitful presentation and that everything will goes just well.

After that I proceeded to HQ to get my rest and spend sometime with my shepherd, Mr lennon. Been a long time since i can ever have some time to catch up with him or even meet up for shepherding.. Can say somehow the shepherd and sheep relationship was indeed slightly strain due to the circumstances... But today i could sense it recovering as the little time we spend sharing lives and issues builds back the trust. True enough, time spend together with your disciple is really important because it is a key point in contributing to the trust both have towards each other. Have a great time discussing over the unit, ministries too, and even some bible principles.. Laughs. And there it goes to the mention of him always throwing those tiny dirt out of the window. Don't you think it is very inconsiderate? But true enough those dirt are very small. Never mind... I cut my nails today, my precious long nails because i decide to play the guitar back again. Had a great time strumming and playing worship to the Lord, but realise my skills have deproved. Need to practise and return back to the standards! Must work Hard.

Soon after esther, joella and randall arrived and we had our DMM. As usualy the DMM was fun and great and serious. I always love my DMM. Its like you know? They are my caregroup! Really want to love all of them, seriously! The teaching was great.. Applicable and ease to use. And usually i will be crapping lots and lots all throughout lifting the atmosphere. Esther will always be the first one to find verses. Joella will always be smirking and laughing at the corner. Randall will always be "wei-ing" at people". And lennon always making fun of people =.= After that we were discussing about caregroup and lennon gave many valuable advice.. Thanks alot for this mentor that had been feeding me with his experience. I learnt alot recently too... Making more and more discoveries about the trinity and many other stuffs... Felt that i need to increase my knowledge greatly... Thus i decided that i will seriously go and learn more about the end time and also doctrines teachings to equipe myself with more truth. Im also learning to create my own teaching for my disciples nowadays by using the bible and books as resources. Been a rhema time for me everytime i start to pen down all the inspiration of teachings i have in mind.

My days are seriously beautified by the Lord more and more. I could feel His love for me enveloping my life and cushioning me. Thank you Lord, for your greatness. Let's really offer our greatest love to the Lord.

Fall in Love.

Genesis Jorris 10:26:00 PM

Agape.

I really want to achieve the Love God wants me to deliver and spread to the people around me. But everytime the same person that strikes my heart appears in my world I will lose control and commit what my mind and soul do not wants to. Today i teaches evangeline about the fruit of the spirit, patience. There is a portion that speaks of our body always being in open revolt against us, and the only way to overcome it is through our mind and soul. Oh Lord. Your soul is definitely sufficient and amazing in love. It is perfected by you and therefore the problem shall lies in my mind. What is there that is not strong that resulted me to always fall into thoughts that I do not welcome? Why does they operates me like im a robot without my permission? My spirit and mind is weak, help me Lord.

Or perhaps in other words, God speaks, Wait my girl. Wait patiently. Not passive waiting, not creative waiting. Not to wait and grim and bear, but to patiently understand God's in control, and be radiated with joy, peace and love. Are you God telling me to wait patiently and do what i can do, not to fret over what that i can't do? I believe you Lord. And are you Lord trying to tell me to wait patiently for your plans and purpose because you are still moulding me like that potter who reshapes the clay when it was marred? I believe. Sorry Lord for my impatient nature. I repent sincerely and wholeheartedly. I don't want to have buts in my sentence because that will not be faith, that will not be believe. I truely want to be transform by you, my potter. Thus Lord! You know my heart and Lord help me to overcome this! Everything that i need according to your timing please assist me just like what you have promise in romans that you will give us everything..

I want to lead a life that blossom with the fruit of the spirit. Live a life that is glorifying to your name. Live a life that is holy and pleasing to you. Live a life that radiate as a strong and powerful leader for you. Live a life that uphold justice for your name and always boiling with holy discontentment. Live a life that offers all my giftings to your kingdom so may it be use fully to expand your world, your people. I truely want to serve. Serve you. You know my desire, Lord mould me greatly so that i can be allow to fulfil even greater missions for you in your kingdom. Please Lord. Give me that opportunity.

Agape.

Genesis Jorris 11:50:00 PM

The sky is so Blue.

Suddenly felt like the clouds covering my life, the barriers blocking my ways, the mud sticking on my feets, the heavy rain soaking my body, the weights dragging my back, all Gone. The Lord relieve one who make prayers sincerely to Him Amen? Yes! He never fail to be my province, the one that give my heart peace whenever i make that prayer to ask of Him to enter my life and smoothen the routes. I know His is with me and He forgiven me. Oh Lord thank you for your love for me! Thank you for showing your mercy and grace, for my sins are nothing but shame. Indeed pressure and stress are like those black clouds that dim the whole sky dark and grey have once harden my heart, throwing me into hopeless times and sorrowful emotions. But the Lord have refreshes those who seek, giving everything they need in order to restore a fruitful and joyful life in the Lord, getting to know again the purpose they have in the Lord's kingdom. Praise God. That Im once again standing strong proclaiming that the Lord is trustworthy. He is in control, and surely everything is within His plans. Do not worry. Do not question. Follow His guidance, and trust onto Him. Obedience is the key towards success.

Surely the Lord want to bless me. Surely the Lord have His blessings greatly planned for me. Its just my human eye that have not been able to see His blessings that was in disguise in all those testings and trials He set forth in my life. But now that he have restore my sight, I have seen His great blessings that are not visible with my naked eyes. I long to lead a holy and pleasing life for God, so may His plans for me be fulfil and I be a living testimony of God for all around me. I want to be that leader that step out for God, and not following. So may i follow the model Jesus has set for all leaders who have pledge to commit themself in this leadership ministry and disciple all who aspire to serve God as shepherds of the flock. Father you listen to my heartbeat! You know what i long for the most in you, what i long to do the most in you.. And i hereby make this prayer for you to send forth all challenges and testings to firm and strengthen me for your best plans! Im ready to be broken by you, to return to the very first element that is purely to serve you. Remind me Lord constantly with your warnings and signs and guidance of words. So may my spiritual walk with you be strong and steady. Help me Lord, for i do not want to lose a minute that is far from you. I want to be always praising you and serving you with my life as an offering to you.

The sky here at my house just look so beautiful. Its so blue, so wide, so refreshing, so amazing. I never notice it till today. It reminded me of something.. Sometimes, beautiful sights are always around you, but you will never notice them, rather those dark and gloomy sights you always catches them within your vision. Same thing applies, blessings are always around us, but we never notices them, in fact, God is already our greatest blessing.. Often we notice all the bad things and complain why God have not lent us a hand in this time as we face difficulties.. We always pray to God and in the next moment gave up hope. How can God answer prayers that is made from a faithless heart? Let's always reflect on God's grace upon our life then we will realise how beautiful this world is. Treasure everything around you. Do not wait till you lose them then you regret. Your family. Your friends. Your Caregroup. Your shepherd. Your sheep. Your studies. Your job. Your everything. Your God. =)

Genesis Jorris 7:29:00 PM

Be my Province of Peace.

My heart is confused with the facts and lies of the devil that are laid all at once in front of me. I do not know which to believe and to trust. It is disgusting truth and idiotic lies. I need wisdom and clarity from the Lord in order to solve this mystery and persevere to find the direction of this maze Satan have throw to draw me in confusion from the Lord. Father please help me to find the focus and understand clearly what exactly is happening right now! This is one of the few times where i felt this afraid. I realise too its the same issue that is causing this fear in me. No Lord not let what i been thinking be true. Because it will be too disastrous and scary for us to handle. Lord please stop anything that is bad if there are, so may the journey be smoothen and not be challenged in terms of that area. Do not let those heart be flooded with disturbing lovey thoughts! I do not want to see my fellow leaders and teachers to fall into that trap!

Please Lord... Give them small punishment and let them learn their mistakes before its too late and they have to bear serious consequences. However Lord if it is my misunderstanding then please Lord enlighten my thoughts so that i will not allow myself to be carried away by my thoughts.. Because Lord you know deep in my heart what i want is just so that everything can be done pleasant in your eyes, and that they when following your ways straight will too be able to receive more fully the love you want to bless us with. You know me my Lord. You know. So fulfil my prayer.

And Lord teach me whether do i seriously have attitude in me.. Whether is there a change in me? For i do not see and i do not know.. And im never been told till that one comment given to me. Is it my blind spot? Or is it particularly due to the struggle i been having over what is happening that result in my different attitude? Is it right or wrong? Is there really a problem with me or is it because there is a problem with the situation? Please Lord help us... Help us to solve this dilemma that is seriously draining my energy. It is causing me to lose my focus to serve in your kingdom. You need to help me Lord. I believe in your strength! I believe in your power and plans! So Lord I know you are in control, thus please Lord according to your timing make the right thing happen.

Wanted to thank you Lord for your blessings and challenges in my life too. Though it had been tough in 2006, and i believe 2007 is going to be a tougher year, but im not afraid of it. I welcome challenges, testings and trials! I strongly believe as all this coming into my way they are blessings in disguise... Surely you will bring me through it, because it is all within your plan for me! let me fulfil greatly the purpose you have for in my life. =) Thank you God for loving me. And i really want to love you greatly. Lord help me to love you greatly. Help me to offer my life fully to you.

Jesus Name I prayed.
Amen.

Genesis Jorris 11:50:00 PM

El corazón de Prayer

My desea para ser purifica por el perfector, el perfectness que se contiene en mi creador, dios. I de largo a poder ser liberado de mi célula de disturbar y de pensamientos contaminados, de modo que sea cariñoso y enfocado hacia la familia del dios. ¿Por qué mi golpe del corazón sarcásticamente aunque i desea para ser agradable y bueno para mi señor? Los strucks yo con un pensamiento serio cuando ese verso vino a mí, y me inspira que los pensamientos malvados vengan de un corazón malvado. ¿que significa que mi corazón no es puro? ¿Ésa allí es ciertas áreas ocultadas de mi vida que no tengo aviso? ¿Ése era unpure y no tengo repented?

Ayúdeme mi padre a aprender cómo a camine correctamente y hable las palabras que usted ha puesto en mí. Ayúdeme a construir el reino el tuyo. Ayúdeme a contribuir mi vida completamente a todo que lleve su nombre. Deseo hablar y predicar las palabras repetidas veces diarias para separar el evangelio el tuyo a los alrededor de mí que no le conozcan todavía. Pero señor im una mujer tímida. Ayude a consolidar mi determinación y a construir mi confianza así que puede yo audaz proclamar su calidad y energía asombrosa. Únteme que se llenará por su energía.

Pray in Jesus Name. Amen.
Lord refill my sinful soul with your enriching love.

Genesis Jorris 8:30:00 PM

Speak to the Lord. In Spanish.

La odio. Lo odio también. ¿Qué debo hacer? No deseo ser odioso. No deseo ser revengeful.

Pero mi corazón se llena de hatred.Help yo dios. Para ser cariñoso. Para amar a su gente. Para glorificar su reino.

Im que se odia que es como ése. Su torturarme. Matarme. Deseo ser agradable en su eyes.Save yo de mi naturaleza sinful.

If only you can interpret. And understand my heartbeat.

Genesis Jorris 1:45:00 AM

Condemned.

I just feel like stabbing myself with a fruit knife.
I deserve to die.
Im nothing.
I dun really want to live in this cruel world anymore.
The people in this land.
Are torturing me.
Im so stress out.
arrrrrghhhhhhhh.
I need to vent this all out.
Help me!

I need a saviour here!
God please. rescue your child.
Im drowning.
Drowned by their wickedness.
Suffocated by their hypocritical smiles.
Lifting my hands to you.
Pain.
Pain all over.
=(

Genesis Jorris 12:32:00 AM

My little prayer.

Dear Lord. I hereby pray with my greatest gratitude and hope in you that you will bless this group that long to grow strong for you. Answer the cries of the dry land, touch the hearts of those foreigners so they may reunite and be citizens of your kingdom like us. Father assist us with your wisdom and your power so that the eternal benefits that is contain in this land of yours will be reveal in glory to all those who are still kept in the dark and deceive by the devil.

My dear Lord. I hereby pray for your forgiveness too for all the deeds i have committed due to my sinful nature. There are many things that i have did that are not pleasant in your eyes, and many things that i have did and didn't even know i have sinned. But Lord im willing to admit for anything that i have done which are sinful. Forgive me Lord for i have the heart to repent. I wish to be sanctified in your name, and make worthy of your sacrifice for me.

Once again, my saviour, thank you for dying on the cross for me. This is a fact i want to hold true and will never forget. Thank you for giving me freedom away from my sins, so may i not be imprisoned by the devil and be drawn away from you. Thank you God for your love upon my life, which enriches me so greatly that my life no longer feel threaten by the wickedness that looms in this world.

My Lord. Let your work be fulfil in my life. Use me. Im ready. All ready. To fight once again for your kingdom to be glorified. =)

Genesis Jorris 1:39:00 PM

las intenciones son buenas, pero la carne es débil

meaning, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I have an immediate urge to recover supernatural fighting capabilities to splash my energy for the Lord upon my tasks. I want to climb mountains that are of unbelievable heights that represents the impossible tasks that are presented in front of me. I wish to cast all my sinful nature away so may i be perfected to fulfil His purpose for me. But, my body is a hinderance. The flesh is not aligned with my spirit. Like i expressed previously, my brain and my heart, which shall i follow, which shall i be lead?

However i sense this powerful expression of determination in my heart. That i know, i will break through this testing and get to the next phase of my spiritual walk and succession with God. I know it. I could feel the blessings falling upon my life. I know el Espiritu Santo is guiding me. The Holy Spirit. It is leading me in every part of my life.. encouraging me to make that step of faith. Pushing me to dare myself and move forward. Helping me to grow in the Lord... And most importantly of all, reminding me God loves me. alot.

Thank you my Lord.

Genesis Jorris 2:54:00 PM

blackhearten.

Suddenly an atmosphere of betrayal and hatred fills my surroundings. Not good.
I feel prejudice in me.
Sensing aimless anger shooting out like daggers of a bandit.
My heart and brain are going two different directions.
The heart is crushed and blacken.
The brain is storming for transformation and corrections.
What to do at a time like this?

Follow my heart or follow my brain?
Not good.

My Lord. Correct me. Lead me and guide me. Lift me away from this blackhearten surrounding.

Genesis Jorris 4:11:00 PM

Claiming back the Promise.

Times been tough and torturing for me, but I will not admit defeat and be pushed in the other ways. I will fight strong, for the will of God is in me, and is training me strong for His work. The sudden breakout of health problems which hits me with an emergency relapse indeed throw me in the midst of confusion and frustration, and i do admit i was facing defeat in myself. But nevertheless God will always strengthen me with His assurance and His promise. I will not give up. I will stand firm. I will fight strong. Impossible is nothing remember? With God, all things is possible. He strengthen me with this verse yesterday as I was out with my family for dinner, and pass by this christian school, which have this as their motto. I like it. The way God speaks to me. Its amazing and contain affirmations that no one could expects.

Though its really tough for me to pick back everything that i have dropped in this period, but i could sense in my heart that its returning back fast. Really fast. Everything is coming back into control. Im getting more and more connected back to my caregroup and learning more about them. I just hope they will not feel distant. And they will not compromise just because im one who is sick. Because after this time as im sick, I feel even more committed to serve them.. Because i learnt that life is really precious. Though God may not take me back so fast, there is still plans here in this world for me to accomplish, but nevertheless i should cherish every single moment i have on this earth before i depart and return to my Father's side. God... please help me to be the type of person you want me to be. I really want to be pleasant before your eyes.

Last but not least, wanted to say sorry to everybody who i have once upset. Seriously and sincerely apologizing. Though sometimes i dun even know what i have done wrong, or sometimes it may just be certain misunderstandings, i still want to say sorry to you guys... Who you guys are nobody may knows, perhaps even me i too also dunno, but i just hope let's not hold grudges and let's just all hand everything to the Lord alright? I love all of you guys. Because God loves all of you guys too. I love God. Really. alot.

Thanks. for everything that i have. All are precious. To me. =)

Genesis Jorris 1:40:00 PM

God's testing.

Facing one of God's greatest testing in my lifetime, the crossroad of healthiness and strength. I never valued it this much until this very day i had a meeting with the death IC, my life, my family. A few days ago i had a relapse of my epilepsy, due to the effect of the alcohol in the bacardi that i have consumed. I didn't know that it will result in such serious condition, such that my brain would suffer serious damage. I had 3 relapses in a row, vomiting everything that i consume for that two full days. The strokes were so serious that i could feel my bones and muscles aching even till today. The nurses explained if there was to be one more relapse, i might not live. phew.

3 neurology doctors visited me, gave me a good lecture. I should not have drank anything that contain alcohol, and especially when i didn't take my medicines. During my relapse, i knock my hands against the wall i guess.. For when i wake up, my hands are covered with bruises. Yet the first thing i say when i wake up is, Im damn hungry. lol. looks like i will never learnt to appreciate my life. But the relapse did fightened me greatly. I realise i had memory loss.. I forgotten alot of things.. telephone numbers.. people names.. my studies.. My friends.. many things just disappear from my mind.. Its scary.. Its not nice to forget things at all.. Esther was assuring me, its only temporary.. It be over soon. And i will recall everything. I hope so.

Through this experience, i learnt that my brothers and sisters are really caring. Thanks alot. It gave me the urge to love all of you guys even more. But somehow, i realise i lose something in me. The fighting spirit. I felt more like a person waiting to be pushed, rather than be the one pushing. God help me to recover my fighting spirit. So that i can be ready to fight in your battle once again. God please help me. It will be service later on, really hope that everybody will not ask me again n again about my condition... cause really hope everybody will treat me like the same. And not be approaching me, thinking about my illness. Im fine really. Its just that when i have relapses then i will be having some serious problems. But thanks alot for all of you guys!

So what is God's testing anyway? I dun really understand fully though. But i sense God's blessings. In terms of my family.. They accepted me being a christian, and dun object me going to church at all now after this relapse. I felt something bad too. Something bad within. Is God's testing a testing of my perseverance and determination to stay close with him? Is it that im drifting away? I dun think so and i hope not so. Thus i shall stay as close as possible. So may God never be away from me. Never.

God bless my entire life.

Genesis Jorris 3:14:00 PM

I am

I know

I Speak